Words are from the lips, actions are from the heart.Rashida Costa
I can speak a thousand words to you and mean only two of them. Yet, you would never know. I can hear someone tell me stories of how they will be better, do better, do this and do that, yet they never do. They can promise me a million times that things will be different, it will be better. But in my head, actions speak louder than words. Understand you tell me that you will try harder, be better. Nonetheless, the second those words leave your mouth, you turn around, and the same actions continue. You continue to make me feel like I am a backup thought. Someone you have around just in case. Someone that if you had any inclination to make forethought and something came up back to the back burner I go. Yet, I stand still continue doing whatever I can for you. I try and make your life better. I try to make you happy. I learn what you know, and I adapt these habits as my own. I do not do this for acceptance. I do this, so you are comfortable. You are happy. However, the favor is never returned. I know if I speak about the things that make me smile, I will be ignored. When I bring this up, you say, “sorry, ill do better next time.” Yet actions speak loudly. I know there will never be a change. Sorry is a five-letter word that flows off the tongue. A one year old, barely able to speak, can say sorry. Sorry is natural. When we feel we are in the wrong sorry exits our mouth. No thought behind it, our mouths move on autopilot. But see actions take time. Actions are not something you can change overnight. Actions you work to adjust. If it was possible, I would rather never hear “I am sorry” again. I would rather you hold your empty words and fill them instead with what you chose to do. To see habits change and alter show effort, care, honesty, more than words ever could. I have spent my whole life hearing empty words and empty promises. I do not need more. Now I know that changing your habits takes time. I am not asking for an overnight transformation. I know it takes time to make choices and decide what you want to do and how you want to do it. I know not everything can happen in an hour or two or more. I know, but just a sign that effort has been made. Effort. That is all I ask. Show me you are trying. Show me you actually care. Show me I am not just another empty promise your mouth made while on autopilot. Show me.