Please be patient

What’s wrong? You seem off? You seem sad? Just tell me. You’re being dramatic. Why don’t you trust me? Will you just tell me already! Open up! You just want attention. Your words and questions surround me. I hear what you are asking, and I know I must answer, but I cannot. My mind is in its own little world. Trudging through unknown battles. I am not ignoring you and your inquires. I hear you just fine and yearn to respond. I just can’t describe to you what I am feeling. I have to practice what I wish to say. I try and speak, but words do not leave my mouth. Only a small, frail whimper at most. My tongue feels heavy. My mouth is dry. I sometimes shake and want to cry. Yet, I work through these emotions and power. Please be patient. When you ask, again, I worry I am taking to long, and you will become annoyed. When you say I am being dramatic, whiny, or begging for attention, I fear you will leave. Please be patient.

In my head, I am battling my demons and fighting myself. I plead to not fight you as well. I want to speak to you to have you understand. I just cannot sometimes. I want you to know, so you understand. I need you to understand why I can go from being a hyperactive bubbly person to a quiet and shy person. I want you to know why some days one thing is okay, and on others, it is not. I want you to understand why I twitch at times where nothing is happening. I just ask you to be patient. You can ask questions; just give me time to answer. Give me time to practice what I am to say. Give me time to will my tongue to move and for my voice to come out stronger than a whimper. Please be patient. 

Published by Kathrine

Emergency Room Nurse spends too much time thinking, reflecting, and over-analyzing every detail of life. Hoping to one day figure it all out.

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