I moved here two years ago with high hopes and big dreams and a phone full of contacts that haven’t been touched in months. I always thought that college would be like the movies. I’d be drinking and partying and living my best life.
It didn’t even take two months for me to decide that that simply wasn’t the type of person I was. I much rather sit in my apartment and binge read a book that was assigned to me, weeks before it was due, or go on some sort of adventure that I would later be able to tell my kids about, or spend a whole day at the lake with the sun catering personally to me.
In just two short years I’ll be graduating from college, something that every one in my family failed to do before me. This moment is one that I have never envisioned before and the thought of it scares me.
After I walk across the stage words “where do we go from here” will echo in my head. I’ve had no role models to look up to. This is unprecedented in my family. There has been no one to show me the way. I am tasked at doing something that others prior failed to do. I have the freedom to decide how to pave this path. But what should i do? How should i do it?
I know that i am capable of doing great things but I feel a little unprepared for the future. Part of me wishes that I could have seen it done at least once before so that I would have an idea of what it is like.
Honestly, I think I’m just scared of the world. It’s one of those many irrational fears that I have. I get so consumed with the future and forget to focus on the present. I think that’s the worst part about myself. I get so easily caught up in what’s gonna happen in two years that I forget to think in the moment.
That’s what overthinking does to you. It drains you. It eats away at your energy reserve. It distracts from things that are most important. If you don’t put all your energy into today.. then you will have no future, and the things you are worrying about will be worthless in the end.