Would You Believe Me If I Told You I Was Broken?

Would you believe me if I told you I was broken? Would you believe me if I told you that you broke me? You walked so cleanly out of my life once before. What’s stopping you from doing it again? Yes, I know I told you that I never wanted to talk to you again. Part of me thought that you would fight for me. But what did you do? You left. You left for a whole damn year. 

Yes. I know that it’s probably my fault. I say things I don’t mean when I’m upset, but everyone does, including you. But that doesn’t make it better.

I still think about that year when we were apart. All I thought about was you. I thought about if I was on your mind as much as you were on mine. 

I would parade around the city with a different guy every week hoping that one of them would bring me half the amount of happiness that you did. It never worked. They only brought more pain and regrets. 

Part of me wishes I wasn’t so stubborn that I would have just come to you and said, “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have said things that I did not mean. I should have made sure that I protected your feelings. God made you, solely for me. I know that you are the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with and I know you feel the same. So, why are we playing these games?”  

But I was 15 and my body said “block him!” Then I did, and I cried when you blocked me back. It was stupid. We were young and playing a game of cat and mouse with our feelings at stake. I’m happy that everything worked out and that our bond has only grown because of it. But my memory has not betrayed me and I still think about that year.

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