I Regret to Inform you…Change is Coming

When I was 7 years old I was, and still am, naive enough to think that I can change the world. I know it seems silly but it’s true. My parents were too busy helping me to achieve my more feasible dreams and goals and I didn’t want to lay another aspiration on them soContinue reading “I Regret to Inform you…Change is Coming”

New Beginnings

Over the last couple of years, I have felt the need to change. Not just for me but for those around me, and the family I hope to someday build. I had hit a rut, a big one. I spent every night drunk off my butt and running from my problems. I would meet completeContinue reading “New Beginnings”

One million and one dreams

Every now and again I get into one of those moods where I just want to dream and I am thankful for the friends that I have acquired over the years who in enable me to dream. With that being said, I have copiuous amounts of dreams and in a perfect world all of myContinue reading “One million and one dreams”

Where were you?

Where were you? Where were you when I needed you the most? When I was spending every night crying myself to sleep, why were you not there? Why did you give up on me? Why did you find it funny watching yourself collapse? Why was it funny watching us destroying ourselves? I know you hadContinue reading “Where were you?”

Runaway (Part 1)

I have discussed a few times now moments in my life that I felt ignored, unwanted, and forgotten. I have discussed how I worked to avoid these feelings, to an extent, and how I truly felt in these moments. However, like most young kids, I had a plan to run away. I had multiple plans.Continue reading “Runaway (Part 1)”

The family rock

“You are our family rock.” “You are my rock.” “You keep me going.” Words that as a child, I adored hearing. I did not see how these words grew to change who I was and who I was becoming. As a child, I lived for these words of affection. It made me feel like IContinue reading “The family rock”

Growing past nightmares

Every night like clockwork, I have nightmares. No matter how many times I wake up and fall back to sleep, the nightmares consist. This is not new to the blog and is something I have discussed before. What I left out before was what I started a few years ago. I began writing down myContinue reading “Growing past nightmares”

My body as a weapon

Like most of the other girls, I was leaning back holding myself up with my hands. One of my male friends asked me to change positions. Said I was making him uncomfortable and making it hard for him to concentrate on what the group was saying. That’s when I notice he wasn’t speaking to me. He hadn’t taken his eyes off my boobs. I apologized and felt embarrassed. I rushed to grab my backpack and cover myself. My body once again was being a problem.

I deserved a better goodbye

Years come and go, but your voice ringing threw my head never does. Some days when the wind moves to fast, I am transported back to your car. We were flying down the highways. Not a care in the world. Your eyes filled with a passion I have yet to find every again. I hearContinue reading “I deserved a better goodbye”

What do we owe ourselves

Looking back to our lives, whether we are 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, or even older, we all look back with a sense of nostalgia for who we once were. Personally, at age 10, I thought that I would be engaged, madly in love. I would be planning my dream wedding in an old Victorian-styleContinue reading “What do we owe ourselves”