I was hoping that maybe posting it somewhere makes the burning desire to scream it at the top of my lungs dissipate. I had mentioned before that I was engaged. Engaged to a man who, at the time, I believed was the best I could do. The absolute best. To me, he was everything I needed. Every time we fought, I “knew” it was because of me. I “knew” that if I were only better, more obedient, then the fights would cease. The mental and physical pain would stop.
Attachment to Broken Men is a series I started where I dive into the men from my past, and I analyze how they have affected and shaped who I am today. This will be the third instalment but not the last. Overall, The Golden Boy is different. At the time that I am writing this,Continue reading “Attachment to Broken Men: The Golden Boy”
As I previously explored in the first installment of “Attachment to Broken Men”, my relationship to men has never been healthy nor productive. In continuing this series, I have decided to explore my past relationships in a meaningful way to learn from these experiences and maybe one day change for the better. Instead of beginningContinue reading “Attachment to Broken Men: The catalyst”
Yes, we can not do what I want to do for the hundredth time. Yes, we can do what you want. Yes, we can ignore my recommendations and instead do what you think I want to do. Yes, please tell me what I apparently would like to do. I did not know I wanted to doContinue reading ““OK that’s fine””
My life has been filled with vile and unforgiving men. While I had my reasons for staying in these situations, the only excuse I had was myself. I feared to break these bonds. I feared falling for a guy who would put me first. Who never had to questions his love and his intentions. BecauseContinue reading “Attachment to the Broken Ones”
Why am I the one you want when I have finally decided to leave? Why am I only beautiful when you feel threaten I may move on? Why am I worth it only when you fear I am moving on? Why do you want to go on adventures only when I have given up? ItContinue reading “Why?”
Last night someone whom I once babysat texted me. She asked me for advice on love. Specifically, how to know that you are in love. I texted her that love was a complicated thing, and you know. However, last night as I tossed and turned, trying to fall asleep, I thought more and more onContinue reading “What is love?”