Finding Comfort in my Sadness

Is it wrong to somedays not want to feel joy? Is it wrong to say that on days that I feel calm, happy, and collected, I resent myself a bit? I dislike myself because by accepting this joy and calmness, I lose my ability to reflect and write. See, when I am happy, the lastContinue reading “Finding Comfort in my Sadness”

Letters to the Lost Ones: An Unfortunate Series

These are words that have been held captive way too long because it was afraid of letting it see the light.  Over the years I have lost several friendships that I used to value and they all end so suddenly that I never got the chance to say a proper goodbye. So this is aContinue reading “Letters to the Lost Ones: An Unfortunate Series”

The first pet I lost

I couldn’t handle the idea that she would not be here anymore, and to cope, I decided to act like I didn’t love her. I would play with my dog and ignore her. I still slept with her and did everything I had to do to keep her comfortable, but I tried as hard as possible to limit our time together. I couldn’t handle the pain without her. She was my best friend. She always knew exactly what to do to make me smile, and I treated her like nothing when she needed me most. She didn’t understand my pain. She didn’t understand why I was afraid to love her. She didn’t know.