Please stay

Promise me you won’t leave. Promise me when I wake you will be there. Promise me you will not abandon me. Every action I take is to ensure that you will not leave. You want to hang out, sure. I will ignore my 10-page paper to hang out. Sure I will lose sleep tonight so we can hang out only to return home and finish the laundry. Yes, I will. Please keep asking me to hang out. Please do not leave me. Do not leave me alone. Do not leave me and never come back. I will do anything in my power to avoid you leaving me. Yes, you can go for a few hours. I do not want to be a bother because you will run from me then. Just promise me you will come back. I will stare at my phone, waiting for you to text me. Wait for you to tell me you are free. It’s okay if you’re busy. I understand. Just promise me you’ll come back. Promise me you will not find a better friend, lover, sister, daughter. Promise me I will not be replaced. I will be funnier, cuter, more feminine, smarter. I’ll be better. Just come back. Please do not abandon me. Please stay.
Abandonment is my greatest weakness. If my mind perceived that you will leave, I would do anything in my power for you to stay. If I feel that no matter what you still will go, whether it is fiction or not, I will leave first. I would rather say I regret leaving than risk learning you want to leave me. Its easier to admit I am at fault because of rash decisions than to admit I was not enough. I want to be enough. I will change everything about me as long as I am enough. Please do not abandon me. Please stay.

Published by Kathrine

Emergency Room Nurse spends too much time thinking, reflecting, and over-analyzing every detail of life. Hoping to one day figure it all out.

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